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Start Each Day With a Smile...
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Now
that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics,
these are some questions people from all over the world are
asking.
Believe
it or not these questions about Canada were posted on
an International Tourism Website.
Obviously
the answers are a joke;
but the questions were really asked!
Q: I
have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England )
A. We
import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
them die.
Q: Will
I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A:
Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I
want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -
can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A:
Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is
it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So
it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q:
Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can
you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ?
( England )
A:
No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.
Q: Can
you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ?
( USA)
A: A-fri-ca
is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da
is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo
racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come
naked.
Q: Which
direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A:
Face south and then turn 180 degrees contact us when you get here
and we'll send
the rest of the directions.
Q:
Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A:
Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q:
Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A:
Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure,
the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and
in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do
you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A:
No, WE don't stink.
Q: I
have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where
can I sell
it in Canada ? ( USA )
A:
Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q:
Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where
the female population is
smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A:
Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do
you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A:
Only at Thanksgiving.
Q:
Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available
all year round? (Germany )
A:
No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk
is illegal.
Q: I have
a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I
forget its name. It's a kind
of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A:
It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of anyone walking
close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with
human urine before you go out walking.
Q:
Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A:
Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
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Click on a header to read the
column!
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| One
surprise was the Terminator showing up for a run with the torch.
Kind of ironic that Arnold, being an American, would be chosen,
especially since he has admitted that he ate steroids like most of us
eat cheerios to get his famous body in the shape he did.
He probably would still fail an Olympic drug test.
It comes to mind though, that Premier Campbell might have pulled
strings to get Arnold up here as Gordon might need to seek asylum in
California when the actual cost of the Games is made public. |
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Task Master
Tractor
Wadena, SK
Ad # 3026
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Here's
a couple photos that we found you might enjoy this Christmas season.
And
who says rednecks aren't jolly?
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Cattle for Sale
Wanham, Alberta
Ad # 3025
Four L
Simmentals of Wanham, Alberta has 120 Registered Conventional Polled
Purebred and Fullblood Cattle for sale on farm by private treaty (sold
as a package). Located in Wanham, AB, Canada. Call
780-694-3787 for details, photos, etc.
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| Wednesday, we went to
another production at Persephone Theater; were picked up by taxi and
taken to Parktown Hotel for dinner, then to the theater, and home
again after the show. It was a great show - “Home Ice” - and
starred the beauteous Andrea Menard and our weatherman, Jeff Rogstad.
The other two players were unknown to me. It was about a young couple
– he was a carpenter with his own business, but prone to making
promises for renovations to their house that didn't get kept because
of his obsession with hockey, being an Oiler fan. She was a slightly
pregnant and extremely lovely photographer, whose patience was
limited. He had a friend that she hated – something about destroying
their wedding cake. The friend was a role that would be well filled by
John Belushi – 'nuff said. |
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